Timoleon Vieta Come Home

This novel is about two men and a dog. Dan Rhodes began writing it somewhere around late 1996 or early 1997, and finished it in 2002. While putting the finishing touches to it he was dropped by his publisher of the time, F***** E*****. They told him that the book was ‘not publishable’ because it would ‘not stand up to critical scrutiny’. See below for some examples of critical scrutiny, and see if F***** E***** were right. It was picked up by another publisher, C******** B****, and came out in 2003. Years later it was discovered that C******** B**** hadn’t paid the royalties on it in full. There are no plans to bring it back into print. You won’t find it in your local bookshop, but signed copies of it can be found here.

An effortlessly charming and utterly enjoyable novel. The Guardian

In the rush to praise Monica Ali and Mark Haddon, many critics have overlooked the writing of Dan Rhodes, who is surely the true best of Granta’s new Best Of list. Everybody should go out and buy Timoleon Vieta Come Home, a tender but unsentimental novel about a failed composer, his sadistic lover and his mongrel dog. A story worthy of W.G. Sebald, universal in its scope and ambition. Rose Tremain, The Telegraph

A dog, a beautiful mongrel, is the hero of Dan Rhodes’s first novel, Timoleon Vieta Come Home, which is by turns hilarious and heartrending. Rhodes is that real, rare thing – a natural storyteller. Paul Bailey, The Sunday Times

This short novel is a delight, a masterpiece of beautifully unforced comedy. The Observer

A tragicomedy heavy on the comedy, Timoleon Vieta is an extremely fresh and sensitive meditation on love lost and unresolved anger. A beautiful and often touching book. Independent on Sunday

A tale about the bond between a dog and his owner doesn’t sound like essential reading, but Rhodes’ writing is utterly captivating. Heat

Timoleon Vieta Come Home resembles Italo Calvino’s Difficult Loves and Alberto Moravia’s The Voice Of The Sea, and that’s saying something. Rhodes clearly has a firm grasp of passionate misunderstandings and hopeless undertakings. It’s almost enough to make you cry. Irish Times

Beguiling and affecting… an amusing and exhilarating ragbag. I have to say that I rather loved it. The Independent

A heartbreaking tale of loneliness, longing, betrayal and dogged devotion. The Herald

Savagely funny, startlingly original. The Times

A novel that’s as unusual as it is unforgettable. Arena

Imagine a series of The Littlest Hobo directed by David Lynch. Spectator

It’s a hard trick to be stylish, affecting and cartoonishly absurd all at the same time, but Rhodes manages it. Time Out

Charming, original, funny, biting and wise. The Guardian

Part shaggy dog tale, part fairy tale, part Lassie takeoff, and a quite thoroughly original debut… his story veers dangerously between the Scylla and Charybdis of tearful sentimentality and mocking irony, somehow managing to stay on course, constantly subverting the reader’s expectations, even as it plays to our most visceral yearnings for closure and happy endings… He has written a beguiling and resonant little novel. Michiko Kakutani, New York Times

Terrifically talented… Charming, funny and sad, this is a story about very human universals: love, loss and loneliness. The Observer

This is an original, delightful read. Daily Telegraph

Hilariously subverted, the humour is really dark and will make you laugh out loud… A must-read.  The Big Issue

Remarkable… funny and touching, a weird and wonderful reminder of life’s contingencies and sadness. The Independent

extraordinary. I haven’t read anything like it before. It’s a seemingly unemotive but beautifully crafted novel with a big emotional hook at the end. It really smacks you in the face. DBC Pierre, Guardian Books Of The Year

I also really enjoyed Dan  Rhodes’ Timoleon Vieta Come Home. He and I clearly share an obsession with dogs and I don’t think I’m giving too much away if I say we have left the way open for someone to write a novel where something ugly is done to a dog using a spoon. Mark Haddon, Guardian Books Of The Year

Rhodes’s debut is a joy. The Times

Oh dear. As you can see, F***** E***** were not exactly vindicated.

Timoleon Vieta Come Home won the Authors’ Club First Novel Award and the QPB New Voices Award, and was shortlisted for the John Llewellyn Rhys Prize and the Prince Maurice Prize. It is currently ‘not publishable’ in around twenty languages.

It went on to star in Knocked Up, and Cate Le Bon even sang a song about it. Look:


SPAIN, Alfaguara. ISBN: 84204650305

PORTUGAL, Temas e Debates. ISBN: 9727596371

UK, Canongate. ISBN: 184195389X
The first edition is kind of textured and papery, and subsequent printings are smooth and a bit rubbery.

UK, Canongate. ISBN: 1841954810

Samesame but green.

NETHERLANDS, De Bezige Bij. ISBN: 9023411684

FRANCE, Stock. ISBN: 2234056802

US, Canongate. ISBN: 1841954225
A hardback edition. Very nice it is too.

GERMANY, Kiepenheuer & Witsch. ISBN: 3462033174

GERMANY, DTV. ISBN: 3423133457

US, Harcourt: ISBN: 0156029952

SERBIA, Narodna Knjiga Alfa. ISBN: 8633112264

DENMARK, Tiderne Skifter. ISBN: 8779730744

ISRAEL, Miskal. ISBN: 9655115372

RUSSIA, Amphora. ISBN: 5942786968

BRAZIL, Rocco. ISBN: 853251815X

NORWAY, Dinamo. ISBN: 8280719841
A hardback beauty from Norway…

GREECE, Palatinus. ISBN: 9604103687

CROATIA, Algoritam. ISBN: 9532202269

JAPAN, Andrews Press. ISBN: 4901868055

SWEDEN, Lind & Co. ISBN: 9185267104

ITALY, Garzanti. ISBN: 8811665264

US, QPB/Canongate. ISBN: 1841954225.
Book club edition, same ISBN as US hardback.

HUNGARY, Palatinus. ISBN: 9639487953

And finally:

TAIWAN, Locus. ISBN: 9867291808


Thailand & Slovakia. Maybe some others too. More news on these as it breaks.